Worst movies to watch this Valentine's Day

If your plans for Valentine's Day contain snuggling up with a movie, here is our list of which films to avoid...

So, it's Valentine's Day, and you're looking for a movie with which you and your honey can snuggle up. Gosh, there are certainly plenty to choose from, with intolerable rom-coms and holiday themed movies littering HMV shelves and the Amazon homepage for the last few weeks, but it's easy to make a mistake, too.
To help you out, here is our comprehensive list of films to avoid this Valentine's Day. Some even have the cheek to masquerade as romantic movies, with great-looking male leads and sexpot ladies, but they are anything but feel-good date movies, and should be given a miss.

Shame

This is a recent example of the anti-romance film, in which Michael Fassbender's protagonist deals with his crippling sex addiction in the lonely city. Fassbender fans may, of course, be tempted to try this one out for the first time, but it certainly won't make you feel good about the state of relationships and intimacy in this modern world.

My Bloody Valentine

This one dares to include the holiday's name in its title, but should only be sampled by dateless horror fans this Feb 14th. I am referring to the remake, however, and even fans of hack and slash movies should dig around for the original if they have any hope of an entertaining night in. Just make sure you exclude it from any date plans you have.

 

Revolutionary Road

Revolutionary Road is one of those movies that makes you fall in love with the possibility of true love before ripping it away from you by its end. Reuniting Titanic co-stars Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet should have been a recipe for romantic heaven, but in reality, the film chooses to show the reality in dysfunctional married life. If you're planning to propose on the night, never show this to your bride-to-be.

Blue Valentine

I can't recall a movie title more suggestive of heartbreakingly intense romance than Blue Valentine, and the film certainly contains those aspects of young love we all aspire to feel. But by flitting back and forth through Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams' relationship, the film destroys all hope for the marriage lasting before we can even see them get together. It can't end well, and *spoiler* it doesn't.

Fatal Attraction

This one's a film to avoid if you're planning on going out and getting lucky on Valentine's night. That man or woman you think is a one night stand could just come back to haunt your previously perfect domestic set-up, and soon there'll be bunnies in the boiling pot and crazy people bleeding in the bath. Stay home tonight, trust us it's for the best.

 

(500) Days of Summer

What's this doing on the list, we hear you ask. Well, even though it's walking around looking and sounding like the quintessential romantic comedy, the film only serves encapsulate the fleeting nature of romance and relationships for young people afraid, or preoccupied, by commitment. Whether you're Gordan Joseph Levitt's hopeless romantic, or Zooey Deschanel's intimacy-phobic dream girl, watching this might just make you revaluate your current situation.

Bonnie & Clyde

They may have stayed together until the very end, but their dysfunctional exploits led to a joint death by a hail of machine gun bullets. Clyde was also not the best partner in other senses, but the film makes the viewer care for this off-beat coupling before they're taken down, making us a little depressed when the inevitable happens.

Brokeback Mountain

Love is doomed, especially if society happens to frown on you. That's the tragic message behind Ang Lee's daring romance, as Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal are torn apart by expectation and prejudice. If you happen to be in a same-sex relationship, we recommend you track down the recent Weekend instead, as it paints a much more hopeful picture of two men falling in love.